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How Aquarius Interprets Valentine's Day

Aliza Faragher

Ugh. So Corporate.


IF SINGLE: Attend Bernie Sanders rally.

True love is drawing attention to the problems plaguing our nation, and using our collective resources to actually make meaningful change. You don’t have time to feed corporate America by purchasing GMO chocolate and Hallmark greeting cards for relationships that will fall apart before summer. Valentine’s Day is your time to show the world what really counts: socio-political issues.

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IF COUPLED UP: Rant about how stupid Valentine's Day is.

You and your boo are just one of millions of couples on the planet. You understand that while your relationship is beautiful, it’s emblematic of your prescribed societal roles. You enjoy the partnership you have, but why on this one particular day should your love be more special than on all other days? This Valentine’s Day, let everyone know how much you both hate Valentine’s Day, and really show Corporate America who’s boss by not participating in the holiday at all. What’s more romantic than sticking it to the man?