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From The Vault: Summer Heights High

Aliza Faragher

From The Vault is a series in which we analyze classic TV & Film characters to determine their matching astrological sign.

If there’s one key difference between American television and Australian television, it’s that politically correctness takes a backseat down under. Maybe it’s an anomaly and we’re just fulfilling our American stereotypes by assuming that this example represents all Australian shows, but regardless: we need to talk about Summer Heights High

The mockumentary aired in 2007 and follows three students at Summer Heights High: drama teacher Mr. G, exchange student Ja’mie and troubled youth Jonah—all three played by comedian and series creator and writer Chris Lilley. In some regards, you could say Summer Heights High is egalitarian in its approach to dark humor because it’s wildly offensive to all walks of life. 

It’s tongue-in-cheek, it’s controversial it’s all but begging for an astrological analysis. 

Mr. G: Gemini

The chatty, social Gemini often gets a bad reputation for being—for lack of a better phrase—shady as hell. These air signs are all about duality and Summer Heights High’s energetic drama teacher fits the bill perfectly. He’s self-centered yet has zero self-awareness. He’s a control freak and hypersensitive in the same moment. All the makings of a textbook Gemini! 

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JONAH TAKALUA: CANCER

If you had to sum up Cancers in one word, it would hands down be moody. They’re ruled by the moon, which is constantly in flux, so let’s be real: you never know which side of the crab you’re gonna get. Will it be the soft, sensitive side or will you be at mercy of its pinchers? Jonah Takalua is Summer Heights High’s breakdancing champ and resident teen bad boy with a mercurial attitude which makes him most likely to be a Cancer. His penchant for causing trouble and taking absolutely no responsibility (classic crab) for it makes him a native to the ebb and flow of this complicated water sign.

JA’MIE KING: LEO

Ja’mie King is an exchange student from Sydney’s wealthiest private school for girls and you better fucking acknowledge that when you address her. She is loud, obnoxious, vain and could care less what the plebeians at Summer Heights High think of her. All that hubris can be only one thing: Ja’mie is a Leo through and through. These fire signs might as well run around yelling “Me! Me! Me!” all day—basking in the limelight is their natural state.