Let's chat.
Los Angeles, CA
ASTROLOGY / DATING / VIBES
WHO MY FRIENDS THINK I AM: "Next level shit going on in that brain."
WHO SOCIETY THINKS I AM: "I'd rather choose to fall in love and be hurt. Sometimes I can't even sleep because I love someone too much. And there's always sadness in our lives. It's that sad feeling that keeps us going" (Sailor Moon).
WHO I THINK I AM: "Everything, including the butter, is homemade."
WHO I REALLY AM: "I'm not mad. I just think it's funny that..."
WHO MY FRIENDS THINK I AM: "How many texts did you just send?! How many friends can you possibly have?!"
WHO SOCIETY THINKS I AM: "Be careful, because every Gemini has a split personality."
WHO I THINK I AM: "I'm so chill, I'm made of chill."
WHO I REALLY AM: "I'm sorry, daytime television. I'm sorry for the realness."
WHO MY FRIENDS THINK I AM: "I need Pinot Grigio at all times. Literally."
WHO SOCIETY THINKS I AM: "Strong as a bull."
WHO I THINK I AM: "Pick my petals off and make my heart explode."
WHO I REALLY AM: "But mom!! I don't want to get off the sofa today!"
WHO MY FRIENDS THINK I AM: "Dude, I can't believe you literally crushed that beer can with your teeth! You're awesome, bro!"
WHO SOCIETY THINKS I AM: "Behold! The perfect specimen!"
WHO I THINK I AM: "Uh oh, what did I just do?"
WHO I REALLY AM: "I WANT MY MOMMY."
Week 2 of The Bachelorette has come and gone, and it was unsurprisingly filled with a plethora of animosity for Chad. Episode 2 didn't have any overly shocking or groundbreaking moments, although Chad may have broken a new record for actually eating on camera. That never happens on The Bachelor/Bachelorette.
It was extremely emblematic and symbolic that Jojo's first date involved firefighters and fire. After all, she is a Sag, a fire sign. Sagittarians crave adventure and energy, which brings out the fire in their personalities.
The date itself was physically challenging, which wasn't spectacular for poor Wells who almost passed out. Grant, the literal firefighter from San Francisco, "won" the challenge to rescue Jojo. Inviting Grant to go on that date felt like an unfair advantage, but Wells received the rose anyway.
Wells could definitely be a sneaky player in this love game. He flies under the radar and seems very down-to-earth. He isn't overly bro-y either, which makes him unique from most of the other guys there (other than James Taylor and Santa Claus). He could make it far this season.
Meanwhile, back at the mansion, the men not on the group date decided to write a creative song/serenade for Jojo. Lyrics include "Jojo." It was clearly extremely creative, but we have yet to know if she ever heard the song or not.
Skipping over the one-on-one date with Derek (because nothing that interesting actually went down), there's just too much to say about Chad. The men in the house have taken it upon themselves to repeat the famous yet unofficial Bachelorette slogan "he's not here for the right reasons." Chad's attitude and eating habits (no joke) offend the rest of the men in the house. They all felt personally offended at how much meat Chad ate at the rose ceremony ("Chad has taken the term meathead to a new level.")
So here's the deal with Chad: the men are obviously all threatened by him, but Jojo is intrigued by his confidence. There's no doubt that Chad is the villain this season, but do we also blame him for being so annoyed by the other dudes in the house? Chad is actually very real. Yes, he says horrible things, but he is also extremely realistic about the entire situation. He feels very Scorpio in his intensity and no-BS attitude.
On the group date, he told Jojo he didn't have reasons to love her yet because he barely knew her. Finally, a breath of realistic air. The next minute, however, he turns around and says things like "It's like these men have never been on a date with a beautiful woman before" or "Whatever I'll just keep drinking protein shakes and eating meat."
The previews spoil that Chad will become relatively unhinged at some point, and we can't wait for that 2-night special next week. Also, sorry "Bachelor Superfan" for not making it past this week. Some of Jojo's choices have been questionable, but it always takes a few weeks for the real contenders to come forward.
In the meantime, all we can do is hope the budding bromance between Daniel and Chad have enough protein powder to share between the two of them.
From The Vault is a series in which we analyze classic TV & Film characters to determine their matching astrological sign.
Listen up, we all know 90s nostalgia is played out at this point in 2016 but you have to give credit where it's due: it was an era marked by a series of iconic teen film masterpieces, a seminal production being 10 Things I Hate About You. Released in 1999 at the tail-end of the decade, the film opened our eyes to Heath Ledger's talent and charisma (RIP Aries angel) and the fact that it's based off The Taming Of The Shrew was a key element in convincing ourselves—and our parents—that the viewing experience was highly educational.
