The Bachelorette: Jojo Brings On The Men

After a few months of hiatus, our favorite television series The Bachelorette finally came back. Jojo made her debut and looked gorgeous as always, unsurprisingly. Last time we saw her (or if you don't follow The Bachelor), she was getting dumped by Ben Higgins in the final rose ceremony. Jojo moved past the breakup and claims she is ready to find love, which means we're ready to see the drama. As Jojo so perfectly said, "bring on the men."

What we know about Jojo

Other than having flawless hair, Jojo is from Dallas and does something in real estate. More importantly, she's a Sagittarius and love love loves adventure and her independence, but that doesn't mean she doesn't crave affection. Jojo definitely seems to be attracted to the confident athletic jock type, which became pretty clear in her selection of men. After all, she didn't give a rose to the guy who was half Chinese, half Scottish ("but Scottish below the waist"). We're definitely in for a good season.

Some favorite highlights

Other than the guy who showed up in the quilt, these are some of our favorite gems:

-Daniel the Canadian: "have you been following the Internet?" Also, his occupation is "Canadian"
-Guy whose occupation is "Hipster"
-Everyone gets so hammered and it's uncomfortable

Controversial Frontrunner: Jordan

Jordan Rodgers, brother of Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers, came out on top on the first night. He was first out of the limo (always a good sign), got the first (real) kiss from Jojo—we're ignoring fortune teller game guy for a moment—and received the first impression rose. The rest of the guys were pretty upset about all of that attention, which is why it seems like a bunch of this season will be aimed at trying to throw him under the bus and frame him as a bad guy. There definitely have to be some darker secrets and sides to Jordan, and we can't wait to uncover them.

Drama King: Chad

Chad stamped his label on his forehead pretty early into the night. Sure, he looks like he could be James Bond, but Chad's rude and insensitive commentary was playing over many of the scenes throughout the night. He felt personally insulted by the guy in the kilt as well as Nick aka St. Nick aka guy in the Santa Claus suit. Chad also claims that he is "the manlier, more rugged version of Ben." Alrighty, Chad. Chad was definitely the stereotype of the hot guy in high school who bullied the skinny kid and threw him into a locker. We appreciate the confidence, but how will it unfold? From the previews that always dramatize everything, it appears that Chad will also be a villain this season. Bring. It. On.

Mysterious Dark Horse: Wells

Wells, the radio DJ, seems like a super chill guy. He literally showed up with an a capella group who serenaded Jojo throughout the night. He doesn't have that jock look to him, but that sets him apart in a good way. Wells, you can come by anytime. 

Lone Star Lover: Luke

Luke, the war veteran from the boonies of Texas, will definitely steal Jojo's heart this season. Jojo has a soft spot for fellow Texans, which works very well in his favor. Luke's smolder is so deep, he could probably seduce a rock. 

This season of The Bachelorette will surely be filled with tears, drama, more tears, and lots of lovin'. We're ready to bring on the men with you, Jojo.

5 Things We Love About Gemini

It's Spring, Summer is almost here, and Mercury is finally out of retrograde. All of this exciting information also means that it's Gemini season!! Geminis are full of fun, adventure, and laughter. Gear up for an exciting season and bring your Gemini with you to amp up the vibes.

Geminis are literally the epitome of "Double, Double Toil and Trouble"

They aren't overly emotional

Geminis are extremely optimistic and positive all the time

Geminis have tons of friends and love bringing their groups together

They can always hold a conversation—you'll never be bored

From The Vault: Emperor's New Groove

From The Vault is a series in which we analyze classic TV & Film characters to determine their matching astrological sign.

Disney knows how to pump out animated classics, but it’s a mystery as to why they’ve all but eschewed The Emperor’s New Groove from their proverbial magic kingdom. The film follows Emperor Cuzco, a clueless prince whose lavish lifestyle comes to a halt when he is accidentally transformed into a llama. It’s irreverent. It’s deranged. It’s the hands down funniest, most egregiously slept-on Disney feature out there. 

CUZCO: ARIES

Emperor Cuzco, the film’s protagonist, is without a doubt an Aries. As the baby of the zodiac, Cuzco is prone to temper tantrums when he doesn’t get what he wants and is impulsive and hot-headed to the point of risking his life...he walks alone through the jungle at night only to almost get eaten by jaguars solely to prove a point. You see what we mean? It’s not all bad though—these fire signs are energetic and view life with childlike wonder, which is probably how he survived the emotional trauma of being TURNED INTO A LLAMA. 

PACHA: LIBRA 

Ah, Pacha. The moral compass of The Emperor’s New Groove. We meet him as he goes to Cuzco to defend his town from being unfairly demolished in order to build the emperor’s summer home. His kindness, wisdom, plus his penchant for fairness and doing the “right thing” makes him a likely candidate for the air sign Libra. With the scales as this sign’s glyph, you know that equality will always be a top priority for these natives.  

KRONK: VIRGO

Yzma’s henchman and aspiring chef Kronk is a sweet and sensible—albeit mentally slow—beefcake whose drive and work ethic make him likely to be a Virgo. These sensitive earth signs adore working with their hands, which makes sense considering how Kronk spends the majority of the film either cooking or disposing bodies into a river.

YZMA: SCORPIO 

As the film’s villain, Ymza is an outright Scorpio. The only thing these water signs love more than keeping secrets is power and Ymza literally has a secret lair under the palace where she plans Cuzco’s demise. There’s no way to convince us otherwise with evidence this strong!

From the Vault: Scrubs

From The Vault is a series in which we analyze classic TV & Film characters to determine their matching astrological sign.

Netflix recently announced that all 9 season of Scrubs would stay online. Does this mean anything about a future revival? Only time will tell. For now, however, it's time to reminisce on the quirky and loving times of J.D., Turk, Dr. Cox, Janitor, and the rest of the Sacred Heart crew. In honor of Scrubs being available to binge watch, here are the perfect gifs for each sign.

Aries

Taurus

Gemini

Cancer

Leo

Virgo

Libra

Scorpio

Sagittarius

Capricorn

Aquarius

Pisces

Drake 'Views' Lyrics For Each Sign

On April 29, Drake graced the world with a new album Views (rumored/originally titled Views From the 6). Views takes a deep dive into Drake's personal and emotional world. Drake is a Scorpio, and his music represents all aspects of that—the songs are powerful, moving, and it would sting like hell to be the girl on the other side of some of these lyrics (we hope it isn't you, RiRi!). Views requires a ton of dedication to listen and sift through, but once you do, you'll be feeling all of the feels. As the wonderful Drake said himself, "You sit and pray hoping that the stars align." He gets it.

Aries

"Yeah, and last night I think I lost my patience
Last night I got high as your expectations" —Too Good

"Karma's such a thing of beauty" —Views

Taurus

"Look what I've done in my life
I had to count it and count it again
To make sure the money was right" —Hype

"Your best day is my worst day, I get green like Earth Day" —Weston Road

Gemini

"Relationships slowin' me down, they slow down the vision
Guess I'm not in a position to deal with commitment" —Redemption

Cancer

"Momma is a saint, yes she raised me real good
All because of her I don't do you like I should
Don't make me give you back to the hood
Don't make me give you back" —Child's Play

Leo

"I'm high maintenance a little bit but not in a, not in a negative way
I just like extremely expensive things" —Faithful

"I pull up in yachts so big that they try to hit me with boat fines" —Grammys

Virgo

"I got a pure soul, I don't do the hate
You don't worry 'bout fitting in when you custom made" —Views

Libra

"Get all your affairs in order
I won't have affairs, I'm yours, girl
Faithful, faithful, faithful, faithful" —Faithful

Scorpio

"On some DMX shit
I group DM my exes
I told 'em they belong to me, that goes on for forever
And I think we just get closer when we're not together" —U With Me?

"Thoughts too deep to go work 'em out with a therapist" —Views

Sagittarius 

"I pray to make it back in one piece-
I pray, I pray" —One Dance

"Did it, did it, did it by myself, by myself, dog
Blew up and I'm in the city still, I'm still here, dog" —Still Here

Capricorn

"Working, working, working, working, ain't ya?
You don't have no time to lay up
You just trying to be somebody" —Faithful

"Now they wanna act like I do no good
Funny cause I really did more than I should
I made a decision last night that I would die for it
Just to show the city what it takes to be alive for it" —9

Aquarius

"That's for sure though, I made a career of reminiscin'
Time got a funny way of tickin', things are so much different" —U With Me?

"Strength and guidance
All that I'm wishing for my friends" —One Dance

Pisces

"Mixing vodka and emotions, tapping into your emotions
Dry cry cause I'm hopeless"—With You

"Question is will I ever leave you?
The answer is no, no, no, no, no, no" —Views

Mercury Retrograde: Pisces

Lost in translation.

Pisces are creative visionaries, so they don’t necessarily communicate linearly. Pisces’ unorthodox expression becomes extra challenging, however, when Mercury is retrograde, and everyones communication suffers. This particular retrograde is going to affect your consciousness and decision making, so don’t be surprised if you’re reconsidering some recent choices. Everything might begin to appear completely illogical and backwards, but if anyone can handle it, Pisces darling, it’s you.