From The Vault: Emperor's New Groove

From The Vault is a series in which we analyze classic TV & Film characters to determine their matching astrological sign.

Disney knows how to pump out animated classics, but it’s a mystery as to why they’ve all but eschewed The Emperor’s New Groove from their proverbial magic kingdom. The film follows Emperor Cuzco, a clueless prince whose lavish lifestyle comes to a halt when he is accidentally transformed into a llama. It’s irreverent. It’s deranged. It’s the hands down funniest, most egregiously slept-on Disney feature out there. 

CUZCO: ARIES

Emperor Cuzco, the film’s protagonist, is without a doubt an Aries. As the baby of the zodiac, Cuzco is prone to temper tantrums when he doesn’t get what he wants and is impulsive and hot-headed to the point of risking his life...he walks alone through the jungle at night only to almost get eaten by jaguars solely to prove a point. You see what we mean? It’s not all bad though—these fire signs are energetic and view life with childlike wonder, which is probably how he survived the emotional trauma of being TURNED INTO A LLAMA. 

PACHA: LIBRA 

Ah, Pacha. The moral compass of The Emperor’s New Groove. We meet him as he goes to Cuzco to defend his town from being unfairly demolished in order to build the emperor’s summer home. His kindness, wisdom, plus his penchant for fairness and doing the “right thing” makes him a likely candidate for the air sign Libra. With the scales as this sign’s glyph, you know that equality will always be a top priority for these natives.  

KRONK: VIRGO

Yzma’s henchman and aspiring chef Kronk is a sweet and sensible—albeit mentally slow—beefcake whose drive and work ethic make him likely to be a Virgo. These sensitive earth signs adore working with their hands, which makes sense considering how Kronk spends the majority of the film either cooking or disposing bodies into a river.

YZMA: SCORPIO 

As the film’s villain, Ymza is an outright Scorpio. The only thing these water signs love more than keeping secrets is power and Ymza literally has a secret lair under the palace where she plans Cuzco’s demise. There’s no way to convince us otherwise with evidence this strong!