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The Bachelorette: Houston, We Have a New Villain

Lena Grossman

Jojo and her men continued on their journey of love this week starting in Pennsylvania and venturing all the way to Uruguay (note to James Taylor: Uruguay is a country in South America). The return of the Chad was less than anti-climactic, but we must commend the producers for leaving on the edge of our seats wondering what crazy antics Chad would come up with next. 

The last rose ceremony at Nemacolin Woodlands Resort (they had a great commercial btw and receive rave reviews on Trip Advisor) lacked some drama, but at least James F. read his poem to Jojo before he went home. Maybe he should stick to owning boxing clubs. Anyway, as the adventures in Uruguay unraveled, Jordan was blessed with the first date. Jordan and Jojo went yachting and swam with seals. So much better than Ben's season when they swam with hogs in the Bahamas. Jojo's affection for Jordan is pretty clear, making him seem like the Lauren B. of last season. However, the men love discussing how Jojo is so perceptive, and maybe one day they'll see past Jordan. Is he even here for the right reasons? Who knows.

 If anything, we know Jordan is there for the spa days

If anything, we know Jordan is there for the spa days

On the group date, Jojo and the boys went sand surfing and Derek looked uncomfortable because he was jealous of the other guys. Derek then went full vulnerable boy and stole Jojo aside at the dinner party to tell her that he didn't want to "lose their connection" because he gets jealous of the other guys, which really shows how much he cares about her. The guys—mainly Alex—took it upon themselves to target Derek as the next villain. But is he actually the newest Chad? Only time will tell.

"America's hero" turns into a zero

Alex turned into the hero for a hot sec after he prevailed on the awkward two-on-one date. The men praised him because he got rid of Chad, therefore dubbing him "America's next hero." That mentality didn't last long, however, because Alex then took it upon himself to quickly find the next person to target. Is it Jordan? Is it Derek? Well, why not both? 

Alex clearly has a huge Napoleonic complex and needs to find other people to hate in order to save himself. For some reason, Alex took such offense to Derek's momentary vulnerability. Alex saw Derek's emotions as a ruse and an easy method of getting to Jojo by stepping on the other guys. As Alex said when Derek was confronting him, "We done here." We surely are not.

One quick clarification

There's Derek with the rose (who sometimes has an uncanny resemblance to John Krasinski):

And then there's Derrick Rose:

Robby could definitely be a frontrunner

Jojo's last one-on-one date in Uruguay with Robby finally gave him some air time. We know she likes him, and the date helped show why. They got the local treatment in Uruguay and then jumped off a cliff—into the depths of the unknown—and made out a lot. Robby then told Jojo he loved her because he lives a carpe diem life. Robby could definitely be the next Bachelor if Jojo decides to stick with Jordan.

Bye Evan and Damn, Daniel is gone

Perhaps the highlight of the episode was bidding adieu to Evan, the erectile dysfunction specialist with 3 kids. He looked genuinely so intrigued and baffled by the In Touch article drama about Jojo's ex-boyfriend, also aptly named Chad. Evan means well, but there was no way he could compete with the likes of Jordan and Robby. Maybe next time, Evan.

In other sad news, Damn Daniel the Canadian got sent home. He questioned Jojo's intentions and even went so far as to claim that if The Bachelorette were based on looks, he would obviously still be there. In fact, he would be the winner. Keep on winning, Daniel.